I’m on a constant self-development quest. Maybe I’m a navel gazer. I’m definitely not someone who has a ‘passion’. I’m not great at being relaxed or content, or having fun without beating myself up. That’s not great! Hence the quest.
It started in my early twenties when I developed a fear of flying. I saw a psychologist and three or four months later my flying phobia was gone! So I have a huge amount of faith in the idea that I can change myself. That I’m not a fixed person. That I can make myself happy and fulfilled, a fun person, a flourishing wholehearted person living well– if I learn how to think and act differently.
So I read a TONNE of books. And some articles. I go to all kinds of professionals – one of my friends calls me ‘the outsourcer’ because of the number of people I see to help me with life stuff. I do other random stuff too – improv comedy, lectures, galleries.
I always get an amazing insight or two from whatever it is I’m doing (I must be good at choosing books and stuff to do!). I write all over my books, underlining passages and answering the questionnaires and putting it into practice in my life.
I have friends who I talk to about this stuff. They love a good self-help book too. They’re usually women, but not always, who are amazing but who doubt themselves, or who are recovering perfectionists like me, or who are still on the search for fulfilment. In the weeks after reading a certain book, I talk enthusiastically about it to those particular friends.
But two or three months down the track from a book, I can’t remember the specific insight I got from it. It usually means that I’ve incorporated that insight it into my life, which is great. But I want to remember what it was in that book, or talk, or whatever, that genuinely changed my life.
So, I decided to write it down as I go, to have a little record of my self-development so I can flick back through to see if I’m still doing the ‘thing’ that that book gave me. And I thought I’d share it with the friends I mentioned, because it might help them. And I want to talk to them about it even if it’s not front of mind for me right now. I also wanted to share it with people who I don’t know but who are interested in it too.
That’s the plan. We’ll see what happens!